A Woman's Tears

How many times have you used your tears to manipulate your man (or any man for that matter)? I know I have done it more than I like to admit. For the past couple days I've been thinking about this tendency to use my emotional responses to circumstances to manipulate others (mainly my husband or in the past other guys).

My brother once said 'When Hannah laughs, the world laughs with her; when Hannah cries, the world does whatever she wants.' It's not that I purposefully try to cry because I think 'mwahaha, now he will do whatever I want'. No, it's more like I just go with the flow, and allow my emotions to be used for my own benefit, usually to satisfy some desire. In most instances I could stop the tears or the pouting  or the wounded puppy dog glances, but I don't. Just the other night, some plans of mine and Adam's got messed up because of several different circumstances, but I was mainly dissapointed in Adam's part in it. This time I really did try at first to control the emotions. I calmed myself down by folding laundry, but when he came in, I couldn't stop myself from being a little pouty. Adam knew what was going on, and kept trying to make me feel better, trying to get a smile from me, but I wouldn't give it to him. Finally he suggested taking me out for ice cream...that worked!

Ken Sande, in the book The Peace Maker, wrote this:

"A woman has a unique ability to set the tone in a home. If she is not careful, she can  pervert that gift and use it to create an irritable, unpleasant, uncomfortable atmosphere that tells her family, "Either get in line with what I want, or you will suffer." Such behavior is an act of unbelief. Instead of relying on God's means of grace to sanctify her family, she depends on her own tools of punishment to manipulate them into change."

Another example: just the other night I was upset at Adam for something silly. I came home and told him that I had not picked up bagles like usual that night because when I had the chance I was crying. "Why were you crying?", he asked. "Because I was mad at you. I still am." I said, with my nose in the air. I proceeded to tell him why I was mad. I got over it quickly (I usually do), but while we were talking, I told him that I think I usually get mad and stay mad at him just to get even...to get revenge for whatever it is I think he did.

God gave us our femininity for a reason...He made us to be generally more sensitive than men...He gave us emotions, and doesn't mind when we cry. But He doesn't want us to use those gifts for our own gain. I think that if our husbands have seriously wronged us, or we see a man abusing his own gifts God has given him as a man, our tears can be used to show a man his wrongfulness. But when we (I!) cry or pout over little things, hoping (consciously or not) that that will help me get what I want, we're abusing the power God has given us as women.